http://mstroxy.com/ en mstroxy@gmail.com Copyright 2010 2010-04-26T05:56:18+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/happy_mothers_day_2010/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/happy_mothers_day_2010/#When:21:51:54Z Today, I realized that I was created to be a mother, it’s who I am even before I had children. The need to experience the process, over and over again, from conception to birth is ingrained into my existence. This, I believe, is true of every woman. This doesn’t necessarily come in the form of a gushy, cheeky, and oh so good smellin baby(but those are always nice :-D), but in the form of careers, art, creativity, a project, or the start of a business, those can all be viewed as giving birth and can definitely have similar characteristics to having an actual child. Every woman is a mother, with or without children. I have a friend opening a specialty shop and I was fortunate enough to be there at conception, the first thought of the possibility. This dream is her baby! She will be in charge of caring for it through gestation, labor for it during the intensive research that needs to be done, and then birth it on the day of the grand opening. She will then raise this dream of hers to be successful and beautiful, a dream come true. To get to the point of conception, we have to allow ourselves the opportunity to dream. Without the imagination to dream, and I mean dream big, we have no chance to conceive something wonderful. We can not let the knocks of life make us fearful to dream. Proverbs tells us that we should commit to the Lord whatever we do and our plan will succeed. This is a promise, I believe, specifically for us women! We have so many obstacles that get in our way, so many burdens that keep us down, but let’s also remember we are women! Strong, over achievers, and doers! Though, at this moment in my life, I am dreaming( and you better believe I am dreaming huge!) of how I want to raise my children, take care of my husband better, and to be the ultimate servant of my household, but I know that this is not the end all of Misty, no there is still more to my life. I am so full of joy and I am anticipating the day that God blesses me with a bun in the oven, I don’t mean a baby, but a deeper glimpse, an extension to my purpose and more insight to my meaning. So for now, I will be spending my time with my two lovelies William and Briana, and when the time is right, God will guide me to the next phase of my life. Give yourself the gift of imagination, search for your longings and passions. Pursue, conceive, labor, and birth your dreams and be rewarded all the days of your life. Happy Mother’s Day! 2010-05-09T21:51:54+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/eating_this_way_or_that/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/eating_this_way_or_that/#When:05:56:18Z So I’ve been on this raw food kick and I admit it’s pretty hard. I think if it were just me I could definitely pull it off, but with two wee ones and a meat craving husband, raw isn’t always going to cut it. What’s important, though to me, is that my family gets the most nourishment out of what is put into their bodies. Through my research I have found multiple ways to “eat healthy,” I am learning to balance. :-D It’s important to remember that with every new venture we must take baby steps, tiny steps through discovery. I am so passionate about the foods we eat and I continue to pursue the best options for our little family of 4. Along with raw foods, here are some other ways I help nourish my fam. If I am cooking a meal, I make sure to sprout the grains that I may be using for pancakes, biscuits, oatmeal, etc., I also switch to a coconut milk tonic if I don’t have raw milk on hand, green smoothies throughout the day, I have completely cut out soy(bad stuff!!), soak raw nuts before use,  buy good quality local small farmed meats, and have stopped buying processed foods(almost, this one is really hard). Taking tiny strides in the pursuit of healthy bodies. What are some of the ways you keep it nourishing? 2010-04-26T05:56:18+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/psalm_1438/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/psalm_1438/#When:22:13:09Z I felt it, standing there hands clasped together, eyes closed singing my praises up to the heavens. I felt God’s love and grace pouring over me in bucket loads. I absorbed God’s words into my soul, fed on them like mana from heaven. When it was time to leave I was so full of joy that I could dance, and then it happened…over a muffin and hot chocolate. Sunday mornings have been a pivotal part of my weekends, for the last 8 weeks since finding our new church. It’s a craving that needs to be satisfied, but each Sunday Briana and I have been battling a war with one another. Today, God used an incident(right smack dab in the middle of the church parking lot) between Briana and I to show me the same things I was feeling in the service, grace and mercy and love all over again, but in a different form. A form of expression that is hard to except, hard to believe, and hard to feel. Instead I easily felt shame, failure, and judgment. I am so tired of feeling these emotions when I “mess up”. To help myself avoid feeling those negative emotions I remember this. The “closer we get to God” the more he allows us to become subject to the areas where we need healing, so that, we can better feel His love. With me it can easily be summed up to anger. When I become angry, I lash out and loose patience. I also need to learn how to forgive myself and not to judge myself too harshly. So this is my scripture until the healing happens, Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love for I have put my trust in you.” May you too remember that verse… 2010-04-18T22:13:09+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/what_does_30_look_like_anyway/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/what_does_30_look_like_anyway/#When:20:54:25Z I’m not sure, but I guess I’ll find out next week and the year to come. I am so nervous about turning thirty, I hate getting older and I know it’s apart of life, but I also know it feels scary. I guess because I see my kids growing older and Chris and I’s anniversary growing in number and the reality of this quickly passing life slaps me across the face at each birthday. So to help myself not fall into a deep dark depressing hole, I am making changes to my lifestyle. One of the major changes that I have been implementing for a while is exercise and activity. I have developed a deep passion for yoga, one for it’s beautiful effects on my body and second the spiritual and self awareness that it brings. When I am in class for that hour, sometimes more depending on the class, I go through struggles and challenges, feelings of desperation, and victories. It’s invigorating and self enlightening. I find it really hard to explain, but it’s empowering. Imagine being on your own personal space, just you and the mat, with complete control. Control over every movement and breath, quieting the mind and treating yourself with the upmost respect and love. Letting go and living. Most days, everyday, all of my energies go to my family, friends, cleaning, kids, husband, kids, and kids again. Now, I find it so important to give/take/steel those few moments to myself. It helps me to be peaceful, kind, and giving because I was able to give those things to myself first. Eating lifestyle…where to begin. A few months back, when I visited Florida, my friends took me to this organic/vegan/raw restaurant and we all decided to share our selection, which happened to be off the raw vegan portion of the menu. Mind you, since starting yoga I have become very in tuned with my body and what it likes and can handle vs. what it can not tolerate. I noticed immediately after eating this meal or portions of multiple meals, that I felt good, energized, and radiant. Then after leaving this restaurant we went to a very upscale italian restaurant to have dessert, which was full of refined processed sugars and fats. This time, after eating, I started to feel that icky bowling ball in my stomach, a complete 180 of how I was feeling moments before I consumed my sweet gooey dessert. This I suppose is what really got me to think and process the way I eat and have eaten most of my life. I decided to pursue a vegan raw food diet. As you can imagine this is not something that can be achieved over night or in one day, so I have decided to take this journey slow, quietly introducing it into mine, my children’s and my husbands eating habits.Trying new recipes, acquiring the equipment needed and doing thorough research to ensure we all get the most nutrients and health benefits. This has been really exciting and fun, so it also fills a void for lack of local friendships, lol(inside joke). Running! Oh yes, back to running. It hurts so bad but I really do like it. I have a usual spot that I go to 3 times a week along the Willamette over the Steel Bridge and then back over the Hawthorne Bridge. It’s so beautiful, even though it kicks the hell out of my shins, lol. What else…did I mention I am turning thirty! Chris and I have committed to a new church, which I think I have mentioned. We attended a home church last night that meets twice a month and it was super enjoyable and has great people. I am looking forward to Summer, to have William home full time and to be able to enjoy the sunshine and outdoors! Happy Spring! 2010-03-28T20:54:25+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/too_much_for_words/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/too_much_for_words/#When:04:09:45Z But I’ll try… As you know we were house sitting for Chris’s aunt, but what you may not know is that we recently moved and we are renting a small 3 bedroom house. It’s right by William’s school, it’s woodsy, it has a cute soothing creek in the back yard, and plenty of room for gardening. I feel like I have so many subjects that I could write about and I am really not sure where to start. The past month has brought about so many little changes that have really impacted me greatly. Some of these changes are hard to describe because I’m right in the middle of them. I can say that I feel good about things. I feel like I am starting out on a new adventure. I guess I am feeling a lot, lol. I’ve been in Portland for 2 1/2 years and I had thought that I’d rooted myself pretty deeply, but I was fooled! Very recently in fact I was uprooted quite a bit with the move of a close friend. Then again, two weeks later, another friend moved. I am not one to branch myself out to far, trust issues, but I had. Mostly, I find myself quite alone these days. I started immersing myself into different things to fill my time. Thank goodness for my bestee who has kept me company at least an hour a day, thank you! Some of the things that have occupied my time(all other than my kids and the hubster, they are alway first and foremost), is the food buying club I joined, raw food diet, and a parenting bible study through our new church. Yes! A new church, which I believe has or will become our home church. I love it, them, all of it. It’s a place that feeds my soul which is so important. This food buying club is fun, I love it because it’s all local, organic, and cheap(or it will be when I figure it all out). Raw food…I am investing time into finding recipes and appliances. When I eat according to a raw food diet, I feel so good! My body loves it, along with yoga, I am filled with so much energy and a positive attitude. I hope to start a raw food family blog as soon as I figure it all out and start implementing it full time. As I figure out this time with minimal relationships going, I look forward to growing closer with those I am befriended to and becoming involved with our new church. :-D I think this blog post is a bit of a smorgasbord?? Oh well, it is what it is! 2010-03-12T04:09:45+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/46_dreads/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/46_dreads/#When:04:33:22Z Yeah I counted them…what it’s cool. They are so versatile, today I have them pulled back on the sides, with a headband and ponytail. Chris says it looks like business in the front and a party in the back! I love them! Okay that’s enough. They make me feel mysterious. Okay I’m done. Let me vent a little about my week, STRESSFUL. If you are a parent and someone has said something negative against your children, then you may be able to relate here. Tuesday William’s teacher approached me about where he is compared to the rest of his class. She is concerned because he seems to be behind on his reading comprehension and math. His teacher was in no way attacking me or my parenting style, she was just inquiring on his past classes and learning styles. She has been working with him one on one and accessing how well he is picking up the work. I am a bit concerned that she is over reacting, but this sort of stuff comes with the package of public school. As apart of this choice, William is expected to keep up with the standards and I believe it is my job to help him keep up. So to help him get “caught up” we are spending about 2 hours a day Monday thru Thursday studying. William and I have also been discussing extensively how he should take school seriously and how important an education is, especially if he wants to be a paleontologist. He is starting to understand and he is also beginning to understand how much more comfortable homeschooling is. You can probably imagine how upset I was after this conversation, I mean in no way was she accusing me of neglecting my child, but I always feel responsible for these kids. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day in tears, my roommates couldn’t even cheer me up. This parenting gig is pretty much a struggle all the time, you know? A funny little thing happens to me when I get upset, I retreat, I don’t feel like facing or participating in the world. I like to think of this retreating as a sort of prayer/meditation time. This is when I beg God to make me better than I am, oh it’s true. My conversation with God has gone something like this, “God you created a beautiful planet, universe, God everything you have created is awesome. God you are so good at what you do, I want to be good at what I do too. I am a mother and I want to be a good mom, God make me a good MOM!” I think that’s pretty reasonable right? Well toward the end of this prayer/meditation time, it hit me, William doesn’t have any learning disabilities. He is the smartest kids I know. He would blow the socks off of anyone, from the vast knowledge he holds especially about dinosaurs. The thing about William, he has kind of been catered to because of his size. Babied if you will. He can play this, I can’t do it thing, add a little frown and bam he has people eating out of his hands. All this brings us back to having some pretty intense conversations, omitting video games and cartoons, and adding a couple hours of studying and already I can see some improvement on William’s attitude for schoolwork. I just finished Eat Pray Love, and I enjoyed it. It has inspired me to persue a meditative and prayerful lifestyle. I don’t totally agree with everything she wrote about, spirit brothers and such. I did like it and I plan to follow it up with the next book Committed.     2010-01-22T04:33:22+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/day_3_dreads/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/day_3_dreads/#When:18:37:04Z I feel kind of funny that I haven’t washed my hair in a while and I am getting used to sleeping on what feels like large cotton balls. My hair looks like a real hot mess and I have started wearing them back in a ponytail with a headband. I had a chance encounter with William’s teacher and during our conversation I started to feel really self conscious about how I looked and started to wonder if she was judging my parenting style by my hair, silly I know. I have pictures posted to the left side bar which is attached to my flickr account. I will be posting pictures there routinely of my dread progression. 2010-01-20T18:37:04+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/talk_about_jumping_the_gun/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/talk_about_jumping_the_gun/#When:00:09:10Z I don’t know why I did it, curiosity maybe, but I got them. Poopy turd looking clumps atop of my head! Dreads, dreadlocks, shitlocks whatever you want to call them, I got em! I have always toyed with the idea of having them especially after moving to Portland and last night I watched one of my friends get them and I decided, what the hell, I want them too. Maybe in some ways I am a copy cat, but in other ways I just don’t think I care enough about myself to really care what my hair looks like. Maybe I wanted the challenge? In some small way, I think, I am hoping to learn to love myself or discover a love for myself with the time and maintenance it takes to care for these bad boys. With dreads you kind of have to let go of a few things, especially your looks because dreads take about two years to look their best. I had my first outing with the kids to OMSI, it was pretty interesting at least for me. I went out of the house with a headband to tame these beasts down, and I let the rest all hang out. I still have some pink in my hair and one particularly bright pink dread stands out, so far this is the favorite dread for Chris, Elysia(Elysia is my doer and up keeper) and me. While at OMSI, I felt like I was being treated nicely, maybe even nicer than usual or it was all in my head…haha. Maybe I appear to be more approachable! I was in a good mood so I felt like being kind too. In a couple of weeks I will be visiting home and I am curious to see if there is any difference, between Portland and Lakeland,  in how I will be treated. My hope is that there is not difference, lol, who am I kidding!?! I think I will make 2010 the year of facing and conquering fears. Fear #1 Always caring what people think___(need time to check off) I will be posting before, after, and progression pictures soon. 2010-01-19T00:09:10+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/what_i_love_right_now/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/what_i_love_right_now/#When:00:48:15Z I like reading these types of post on other blogs, so I thought I would put out there what I love at the moment and some I love always. Here they are listed in no particular order… *Matcha—yummy! *My forgiving kids *An understanding and patient husband *Having house mates *Timberline Lodge *Baking *Self discovery *Oregon *Did I mention my awesome husband who is so freakin’ patient with me *Snow sports *Family *Not going to church but still able to be a Jesus freak *Friends, Friends, Friends *Driving cross country Oh so many things to be thankful for! What are you loving right now? 2010-01-08T00:48:15+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/i_heart_theater/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/i_heart_theater/#When:00:22:02Z Today Chris and I took the kids to see Narnia at the Northwest Children’s Theater, it was fantabulous! The kids actually enjoyed it a bit too. Briana really liked the unicorn character and William was digging the fight scenes. I have been trying to talk William into taking drama lessons at NWCT, but he thinks he is too shy. Briana may be leaning toward it. I don’t want to tell my kids what they should be when they grow up, but I would really like it if at least one of them ended up in a band or on Broadway! Though right now William wants to be a Paleontologist and Briana wants to be an Ice Skating Teacher. Adorable, I know :-) I remember the first show I feel in love with…Rent! Then when I saw it in NY, oh I was just enamored. It was fantastic and I am really hoping that the early exposure I am giving my kids will set them with a deep love for it too. Speaking of Narnia, we were able to go(FREE) because someone in our homeschool coop was offering their seats and we gladly accepted and saved $60! So I definitely recommend getting connected into different groups or communities. It’s a give and take relationship. I don’t think this homeschooling thing would be as fruitful if we didn’t have our two HS groups. One with the coop and the other with peers (parents and kids), they are like little families. Each Friday we meet with our Happy Home Learners community, each of us takes turns hosting, and this past Friday one of our moms hosted a Christmas ornament making day and this coming Friday we are attending a Hanukkah party. I love it! I tell ya, this homeschooling thing isn’t easy, but raising kids in general isn’t easy. It takes tons of patients and grace from family and friends and it takes a lot of support in many different areas. It’s nice that there is no right or wrong way to learn and each of us can take different approaches. We have also taken a community approach to our living arrangements by inviting two of our close friends to live with us. It has been pretty interesting having other people to help with the bills and chores. Sharing the stresses of life together seems to be a bit less stressful and more exciting and new.  It’s becoming quite clear that to make it in this economy(or world for that matter) we need to stand by each other in hard times and help each other, take care of each other, and just be together. None of us should have to do this life alone. Oh and 7 year olds are moody…just saying :-) 2009-12-09T00:22:02+00:00