http://mstroxy.com/ en mstroxy@gmail.com Copyright 2010 2010-01-20T18:37:04+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/46_dreads/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/46_dreads/#When:04:33:03Z Yeah I counted them…what it’s cool. They are so versatile, today I have them pulled back on the sides, with a headband and ponytail. Chris says it looks like business in the front and a party in the back! I love them! Okay that’s enough. They make me feel mysterious. Okay I’m done. Let me vent a little about my week, STRESSFUL. If you are a parent and someone has said something negative against your children, then you may be able to relate here. Tuesday William’s teacher approached me about where he is compared to the rest of his class. She is concerned because he seems to be behind on his reading comprehension and math. His teacher was in no way attacking me or my parenting style, she was just inquiring on his past classes and learning styles. She has been working with him one on one and accessing how well he is picking up the work. I am a bit concerned that she is over reacting, but this sort of stuff comes with the package of public school. As apart of this choice, William is expected to keep up with the standards and I believe it is my job to help him keep up. So to help him get “caught up” we are spending about 2 hours a day Monday thru Thursday studying. William and I have also been discussing extensively how he should take school seriously and how important an education is, especially if he wants to be a paleontologist. He is starting to understand and he is also beginning to understand how much more comfortable homeschooling is. You can probably imagine how upset I was after this conversation, I mean in no way was she accusing me of neglecting my child, but I always feel responsible for these kids. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the day in tears, my roommates couldn’t even cheer me up. This parenting gig is pretty much a struggle all the time, you know? A funny little thing happens to me when I get upset, I retreat, I don’t feel like facing or participating in the world. I like to think of this retreating as a sort of prayer/meditation time. This is when I beg God to make me better than I am, oh it’s true. My conversation with God has gone something like this, “God you created a beautiful planet, universe, God everything you have created is awesome. God you are so good at what you do, I want to be good at what I do too. I am a mother and I want to be a good mom, God make me a good MOM!” I think that’s pretty reasonable right? Well toward the end of this prayer/meditation time, it hit me, William doesn’t have any learning disabilities. He is the smartest kids I know. He would blow the socks off of anyone, from the vast knowledge he holds especially about dinosaurs. The thing about William, he has kind of been catered to because of his size. Babied if you will. He can play this, I can’t do it thing, add a little frown and bam he has people eating out of his hands. All this brings us back to having some pretty intense conversations, omitting video games and cartoons, and adding a couple hours of studying and already I can see some improvement on William’s attitude for schoolwork. I just finished Eat Pray Love, and I enjoyed it. It has inspired me to persue a meditative and prayerful lifestyle. I don’t totally agree with everything she wrote about, spirit brothers and such. I did like it and I plan to follow it up with the next book Committed.     2010-01-22T04:33:03+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/day_3_dreads/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/day_3_dreads/#When:18:37:04Z I feel kind of funny that I haven’t washed my hair in a while and I am getting used to sleeping on what feels like large cotton balls. My hair looks like a real hot mess and I have started wearing them back in a ponytail with a headband. I had a chance encounter with William’s teacher and during our conversation I started to feel really self conscious about how I looked and started to wonder if she was judging my parenting style by my hair, silly I know. I have pictures posted to the left side bar which is attached to my flickr account. I will be posting pictures there routinely of my dread progression. 2010-01-20T18:37:04+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/talk_about_jumping_the_gun/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/talk_about_jumping_the_gun/#When:00:09:10Z I don’t know why I did it, curiosity maybe, but I got them. Poopy turd looking clumps atop of my head! Dreads, dreadlocks, shitlocks whatever you want to call them, I got em! I have always toyed with the idea of having them especially after moving to Portland and last night I watched one of my friends get them and I decided, what the hell, I want them too. Maybe in some ways I am a copy cat, but in other ways I just don’t think I care enough about myself to really care what my hair looks like. Maybe I wanted the challenge? In some small way, I think, I am hoping to learn to love myself or discover a love for myself with the time and maintenance it takes to care for these bad boys. With dreads you kind of have to let go of a few things, especially your looks because dreads take about two years to look their best. I had my first outing with the kids to OMSI, it was pretty interesting at least for me. I went out of the house with a headband to tame these beasts down, and I let the rest all hang out. I still have some pink in my hair and one particularly bright pink dread stands out, so far this is the favorite dread for Chris, Elysia(Elysia is my doer and up keeper) and me. While at OMSI, I felt like I was being treated nicely, maybe even nicer than usual or it was all in my head…haha. Maybe I appear to be more approachable! I was in a good mood so I felt like being kind too. In a couple of weeks I will be visiting home and I am curious to see if there is any difference, between Portland and Lakeland,  in how I will be treated. My hope is that there is not difference, lol, who am I kidding!?! I think I will make 2010 the year of facing and conquering fears. Fear #1 Always caring what people think___(need time to check off) I will be posting before, after, and progression pictures soon. 2010-01-19T00:09:10+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/what_i_love_right_now/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/what_i_love_right_now/#When:00:48:15Z I like reading these types of post on other blogs, so I thought I would put out there what I love at the moment and some I love always. Here they are listed in no particular order… *Matcha—yummy! *My forgiving kids *An understanding and patient husband *Having house mates *Timberline Lodge *Baking *Self discovery *Oregon *Did I mention my awesome husband who is so freakin’ patient with me *Snow sports *Family *Not going to church but still able to be a Jesus freak *Friends, Friends, Friends *Driving cross country Oh so many things to be thankful for! What are you loving right now? 2010-01-08T00:48:15+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/i_heart_theater/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/i_heart_theater/#When:00:22:02Z Today Chris and I took the kids to see Narnia at the Northwest Children’s Theater, it was fantabulous! The kids actually enjoyed it a bit too. Briana really liked the unicorn character and William was digging the fight scenes. I have been trying to talk William into taking drama lessons at NWCT, but he thinks he is too shy. Briana may be leaning toward it. I don’t want to tell my kids what they should be when they grow up, but I would really like it if at least one of them ended up in a band or on Broadway! Though right now William wants to be a Paleontologist and Briana wants to be an Ice Skating Teacher. Adorable, I know :-) I remember the first show I feel in love with…Rent! Then when I saw it in NY, oh I was just enamored. It was fantastic and I am really hoping that the early exposure I am giving my kids will set them with a deep love for it too. Speaking of Narnia, we were able to go(FREE) because someone in our homeschool coop was offering their seats and we gladly accepted and saved $60! So I definitely recommend getting connected into different groups or communities. It’s a give and take relationship. I don’t think this homeschooling thing would be as fruitful if we didn’t have our two HS groups. One with the coop and the other with peers (parents and kids), they are like little families. Each Friday we meet with our Happy Home Learners community, each of us takes turns hosting, and this past Friday one of our moms hosted a Christmas ornament making day and this coming Friday we are attending a Hanukkah party. I love it! I tell ya, this homeschooling thing isn’t easy, but raising kids in general isn’t easy. It takes tons of patients and grace from family and friends and it takes a lot of support in many different areas. It’s nice that there is no right or wrong way to learn and each of us can take different approaches. We have also taken a community approach to our living arrangements by inviting two of our close friends to live with us. It has been pretty interesting having other people to help with the bills and chores. Sharing the stresses of life together seems to be a bit less stressful and more exciting and new.  It’s becoming quite clear that to make it in this economy(or world for that matter) we need to stand by each other in hard times and help each other, take care of each other, and just be together. None of us should have to do this life alone. Oh and 7 year olds are moody…just saying :-) 2009-12-09T00:22:02+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/memories/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/memories/#When:04:15:50Z I was going through my old scrapbook supplies looking for Christmas paper and stickers for the kids, while looking through half done pages and old photos I was reminded of how much I enjoyed scrap booking. I also love looking through my old scrapbook albums and reading the captions of how I experienced everything. I haven’t done any since Briana was born, with the second baby it just became impossible to sit down and allow my creative juices to flow. Now is a different story, nearly 4 1/2 years later, the kids are more independent and easily entertained. Lately, I have picked up sewing again along with knitting. I have also tried to incorporate more craft time with the kids. So, I have decided to pick up Scrap booking right after the new year. I tend to remember the not so pleasant moments of my mothering career, seems like the pages I have scrapped remind me that there are plenty of wonderful moments that supersede the bad.  I love returning to things once forgotten. Now, how do I convince hubby to give me a scrapping allowance :-) 2009-11-29T04:15:50+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/summer_living_part_3/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/summer_living_part_3/#When:00:31:46Z This weekend marks our last weekend of the Summer. Tomorrow we officially begin our first week of homeschooling, we also begin our workshops at Village Home. For our workshops William will be taking Word World, Primary Math, and then William, Briana, and I will be taking a knitting class (we are on the waiting list for Organic Gardening). This will be each Tuesday for the next 10 weeks. Village Home is a huge community of homeschooling families and I look forward to building new relationships and support groups. Camping, we just got back this morning from Champoeg State Park. We had fun and hung out with a lot of cool people. Some new friendships were made and some were rekindled. The kids had a blast playing and exploring with other kids. They saw plenty of spiders, bees, and a couple of frogs. William and Briana are definitely natural campers and enjoy the out doors immensely. Briana, Vivian, Verity, and I did a bit of black berry picking. William, Ethan, and the two Chris’s went down and explored the river a bit. We roasted hot dogs, marshmallows, and there was even popcorn made over the fire. I think the highlight of the whole trip was the shadow puppet production of Where the Wild Things Are, spectacular and loved by everyone. I am sad to see the summer go but so excited for fall. Already we have plans to attend the Renaissance Festival and the pumpkin patch. I have my scheduled all worked out and I feel better knowing what each day will look like for us. Keep us in your prayers and we embarked on the new adventure. 2009-09-14T00:31:46+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/luandry_day/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/luandry_day/#When:17:44:01Z That’s right laundry day. That’s whats on the agenda today, separating colors, loading, unloading, folding, and putting away. I also had a little fermenting party, milk kefir, water kefir, and kombucha, all fresh and getting ready to be devoured. The kids are playing in the bath after making mud puddles outside with the water hose and I am taking a quick break to blog a bit about laundry. Laundry is great and it’s even better that I can do it all in one afternoon. Today I plan on going through each piece of clothing and putting aside a pile for the Good Will. Both William and Briana have gone through bit of a growth spurt and much of their pant are high waters, rising well above their ankles. It’s amazing to watch them grow at such speed. I am a bit speechless about how quickly time passes and how quickly they grow distantly, independent. I am not needed at every moment to hold, coddle, feed, soothe, bathe, bathroom, and so on. They can fix their own snacks, pick out their own clothing, go potty by themselves, play independently of me, and so many other things. It’s a bit depressing to think about, really, I need a puppy or something (we know how well that goes over). I almost find a bit of kinship with my fermented friends, laundry, and even keeping the house clean. These things are becoming my companions…really! I talk to the little gnats that have invaded my kitchen, not very nicely, but I talk to them nonetheless. You see its been hot so we have to open the house up to cool down, along with letting the cool air in, I have let a few pesty pest in, gnats are so annoying and they LOVE anything fermented. Well, that was a bit pointless. I wonder if all moms feel this way, you know, about house cleaning, laundry, or house chores being some kind of comfort to them? Well the dryer just stopped. Time to unload and load. 2009-08-20T17:44:01+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/tonight/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/tonight/#When:03:27:40Z I am sitting here watching two grown men play football on xbox. This may not be significant to anyone but me, but for this reason it’s huge…I have nothing on my schedule. This lack of a calendar is frequenting my daily routine much more often than I am use to. About a month ago this was the opposite of what I was used to. Every single day I would have tons, too much, on my plate. Filling my life with little task, errands, chores, work in effort to avoid certain problem areas of my life. Avoiding, something I am so good at, something I have mastered. Mastered to a big capital T! To fill my day with so much, so that, I didn’t have to pay attention to my deep hurts and disappointments. As a mother, this is easy to do. Concentrating on the kids can easily book any available time. On the advice of my counselor and some friends, who had pointed out that maybe, possibly I may be doing to much. This was foreign to me, I felt good to accomplish each item on my list. I loved being busy, I felt important. Well here I am, nothing…but I feel good about it. I might take up journaling, as in recording all my thoughts, emotions, feelings. I hate to journal, something to do with fear of finding what might have been hidden, buried, deep down inside. Afraid that what ever is there, might be scarier than what you already know. Digging up all the gunk from years past and even recently. For me, it is so easy to stuff, except, or live with hurt, disappointment. I can take a put down, I can literally reach out grab it and place it in my heart because somewhere I have heard it before and I have taken it as truth. Twice in my life I have heard that I am “fake”...well ok. I can so easily believe that, especially after hearing it a second time. I want to change…I don’t want to believe that I am this word. This word that cuts so deeply. Someone actually question WHO I am. I can not easily defend, because during some painful years I had lost my core. Pain can do that, scare so deeply that it blinds you from your soul. I am determined to change and to believe that I am better than what I believe. Today a friend suggested that I not skip step 2 or 3 anymore but to buckle down and plow through hurt and anger. She suggested journaling to help me identify some root causes. Like I said, scary. Change…change is good. 2009-08-17T03:27:40+00:00 http://mstroxy.com/blog/summer_living_part_2/ http://mstroxy.com/blog/summer_living_part_2/#When:22:53:55Z This summer has been so great. We are really taking the time to relax and explore all that our community has to offer. The kids and I went to Tualitan Hills Nature Park and had a fabulous time looking for snakes and listening to all the great sounds nature offers us. Also, a couple weekends ago I went to the Sock summit with Vivian that followed my first slumber party in years! Gilmore girls and Wine can not be beat with knitted slippers on my feet. This is Summer living part 2 and I am sure there will be a part 3 and 4! Enjoy… Tualitan Hills Nature Park Sock Summit 2009 2009-08-14T22:53:55+00:00